the future is becoming more clear...or, less fuzzy

I've been stuck and receiving verbal lashings from Charity, my "hold me accountable" friend. Whenever I get inspired about something - and think it might be a key to my future or purpose in life, I call Charity and regurgitate it to her...and then ask her to help me explore it - not let me forget it - and not let me off the hook about it. Fortunately, but also irritatingly to me - Charity has a mind for details and has chosen to actually believe me when I say to her, "I want people in my life who will not let me play small and who will painstakingly ignore me when I claim I can't do something...". She has also chosen to believe that the things I share with her as fantasy ideas...such as..."I think I'll be a writer, a photographer, a chef...and I'll open a community center..." are real and concrete possibilities. I've forgotten to memo her that I take myself ridiculously unseriously and never fathomed that someone else would actually think I could accomplish any of these things. Recently my voicemail from Charity have been to discuss her opinion that I am cheating myself by not writing more...not posting more...not exploring more. So, sigh - this one is for you my friend. Look - there are loads of words and a photo...a step forward. I've given myself permission to just write this without having purpose or perfection in mind. Write to write...because it frees me and moves me and opens me to allow new things to flow through me. Turns out that in the process of getting myself to post even this paragraph I've had another desire present itself to me. Movement in any direction allows new energy to flow in. I think I'd like to go to school for art therapy. Getting there seems impossible - but I see the colors and the light around the corner. Don't let me forget.