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I am having the experience that the more I create,

the more ravenous I am to create.

As I allow life's energy to flow through me and guide me,

to use me -

I am aware of an urgent need to be part of the pulse,

the life blood that nourishes.

It feels that the choice is to continue to let there be 'less of me'

and allow room for the creator to work through me,

Or to never be satisfied with my life's work.

Each time I let a new creation come through me there is excitement and joy,

peace,

often followed by a deep sadness, longing, a tear.

I think I've blocked the creative process for so long because to let the "good" in means also granting passage to the "bad".

Shutting down allowed me to detach from the pain of my life,

but it put a wall up to the good as well.

This artistic process,

allowing myself to be used by the creator,

is freeing me.